The Hockey Mask
Picture this...you're on your way to meet this guy (or girl, for that matter) that contacted you via your online dating service. You had planned to go to the mall to see a movie, get something to eat...basically, get to know each other.
He calls you and says to come by his place because someone's coming over to help him install the new satellite box he bought. He says he'll come out and, if you feel comfortable, then you can come inside. (I know, I know...stupid...crazy...dangerous...you never know...it CAN happen to you...etc.)
So you get there and it starts pouring just before he comes outside, without an umbrella, so you both just run inside. The satellite guy isn't there. It's just you and this guy...and a HUGE Rottweiler.
After waiting several minutes for the guy to finish doing the dishes (he was clearly trying to clean up before I got there, and I CLEARLY got there too soon!) and bonding with the Rottweiler, you somehow end up helping the guy set up the new satellite box. (No, the satellite guy never showed up.)
So now you're in his room...upstairs...the front door is a bit far away...and you've forgotten where you put your purse. (Yes, these things were already going through my mind.) The whole situation is a bit strange, but it actually feels like you've known this guy forever. After all, you're helping him set up his satellite. That's like, SACRED!
You're connecting and unplugging all kinds of cables. He has two satellite dishes. Cables everywhere. Things aren't working. He goes downstairs to check the connections/settings on the other TV. You look around and find a HOCKEY MASK...like Jason in Friday the 13th...and it's nowhere near Halloween. Just as your heart reaches your throat, you hear footsteps coming up the stairs. As you turn around, trying to wipe the mortified expression off your face, your eyes find handcuffs on the bedside table.
You say, "What's with the Jason mask?" He says, "I don't know."
In a NANO-SECOND, a thousand thoughts are going through your mind. Is he a psycho or interestingly kinky? Should I run or can we maybe have some fun?
I didn't run. He was SO HOT!
Nothing happened...I mean NOTHING. ;)
Posts
First of all, never go out with a guy who trumps a planned date with you, or delays it, because he has to install his new satellite. That reeks of misplaced priorities.
Coupled with the hockey mask and rottweiler speak to possible inadequacy, or "performance," issues which you don't need.
He is like a skilled jack rabbit, with no jack, who knows how to lure his honey bunny into his honey hole with a carrot scented with his buddy's testosterone! Okay, I don't know where I was going with that. I'm listening to a latin band who sings in spanish, rap in English about "accidation." Yeah.
Justo (hoos-toh) said... December 4, 2007 at 10:25 AM
Good words.
Anonymous said... November 11, 2008 at 7:50 PM
Post a Comment